One of Niece #3’s favorite songs right now, is Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor. I am not normally a pop music listener but when you spend a great deal of time with a 12 & 14 year-old, you get your fair share of the Top 40. I do not personally have anything against Meghan Trainor. Her songs are catchy and fairly wholesome. I would rather my nieces listen to her than say, Justin Beiber. I am not up on the back lash that she received last year from her All About that Bass. Personally, I am all for something that gives girls self-confidence. But I am also not one to over analyze a pop song either.
So this Dear Future Husband song. It is cute, and bubbly. Very bubble gum. And after hanging out with Niece #3 for a week I have heard it more than 7 million times. Okay, maybe that is an exaggeration, but if you have listened to a Top 40 station for an extended length of time you come to figure out that there are only so many songs played. So maybe it wasn’t truly 7 million times, but it feels like it. But I digress.
So after hearing the song a ton, I started really listening to the words. ( you can find the full lyrics here http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/meghantrainor/dearfuturehusband.html )
And it dawned on me that this girl is missing a few things to tell her future husband. Or perhaps it is just naiveté of someone young.
**I would like to take this moment to give a disclaimer. This is not intended to be a husband bashing blog post. I love my husband. And anything posted here is something that he has heard before. But lets face it, sometimes husbands are oblivious… (Hi Ed!)**
I think that my biggest issue with the song is that she is forgetting that there is a lot more to a relationship, especially a marriage than just taking you on a date and being a classy guy. Not to down play that, because you can hope to marry a gentleman, but why not focus on things like listen to me, and try to understand things from my perspective. No one knows exactly what is going on in the other’s head (Thank goodness) so learn the art of communication. I will admit that after being together for 16 years, I do understand some of my husband’s MO, but not always. For example when he is upset, he will shut down rather than want to talk about. Could be a guy thing…
My song would have talked about the art of compromise. One or the other of you is not always right. There will be fights but it is important to learn to say you are sorry when needed.
Compliments mean a lot. And sometimes are needed out of the blue. Don’t just compliment me when I am all dressed up for something special. I took the time to look nice then, I know this. Tell me I look nice when I least expect it.
Pick a damn restaurant. You are hungry, I am hungry. Why is this the same conversation over and over?
Sure the flowers on our anniversary are nice, but surprise me with flowers at another random time. (See compliments above.)
Help out around the house. Without being told.
Be appreciative. Be supportive.
And I disagree with Meghan. A little dirty mind is not necessarily a bad thing… Sometimes.
I guess that my song would not be as interesting. And not nearly as catchy. Bottom line is love me and be there. So Meghan is not too far off on all the hearts & flowers but there is a lot of important other things to keep a marriage going. Because hearts & flowers are not going to last forever. The realism is that there is no Prince Charming in the real world, but that doesn’t mean Prince A-Little-Flawed is not the perfect match for you.